God, my Belayer

Belaying-a nautical term, belaying refers to making a line fast to a cleat, pin or other fixed object. In climbing, belaying is the technique of controlling the rope so that a falling climber does not fall very far. The belayer is standing the ground feeding the rope to the climber. Should the climber fall, the belayer is able to catch the fall.

I went climbing with my friend Em Bystry today. There was a father and his 5 year old son there. As the son climbed up the wall, he kept saying "dad, i can't do it" or "dad I can't reach that". The father kept repeating " I got you, you are fine. You won't fall", or "Put your foot on the rock near your knee". When the son was struggling, the father told the son to let go. The son replied "Dad, I can't. I'm going to fall". The father replied "Son, let go. I can't catch you and lower you down if you don't let go"

So many times, we feel like we can't go through one more struggle. One more death of loved ones, one more diagnosis of sickness, one more failure. God, our Father in Heaven, keeps repeating "I got you", "you're doing fine", "I'm in control". When we struggle, we struggle by ourselves. We don't realize we need to let go of our fear and let God lower us onto more stable and secure ground. We all struggle with something. We all make mistakes. Are we willing to let God have the control? Are we willing to let God belay us as we go through this life?

It's the question I ask myself everyday ever since my diagnosis. How dare I even ask IF God will belay me? It's whether I will let Him is the bigger question.

It's amazing to me how a few weeks can change one's life forever. How will this impact the direction my life is going? The family I may or may not have? My dreams? It will take a great man to want to be with me-with all the junk in my life. He would have to be very strong in the Lord. The other thought is...why would anyone want to join his life with mine, when life is already tough to begin with? Choosing the road more traveled is easier for most people. Choosing the road less traveled takes a little more courage and trust.

Will I allow God, the Author and Perfecter of my faith, to be the wind in my sails, my compass, and my belayer?

This is the question that you, the reader, need to ask yourselves. I know that only a small handful of you, who are dear to my heart, read my blog :-) That's why I share so much of my heart. Having a blog has helped me process through quite a few things the last few weeks. Even if my good friends don't read my page, I still would continue to write:-) Call it therapy.

Hope this challenges and encourages you in your walk with Jesus.