New adventures

Well, I've been excited for the next adventure with my God. Riobamba, Ecuador. I had to order some anesthesia supplies online in order to prepare for my trip to Ecuador and I'm so excited. I have no idea what to expect, but i'm looking forward to help others.

Also, I'm actually looking for a new job. I don't know exactly where I'll end up since the job market is slightly slim, but God's going to take care of that :-) I think I have an idea, but we'll see...At first I had some reservation about moving since I just moved. I'm close to my family and Marla and Amy and Ann, but I don't think I'll end up too far away from them. We will see where God is going to take me.

Recently I've been interested in this guy and I thought that there might be some potential between us, but in the end it didn't work out. Rejection is hard to take. It makes you feel like you're not good enough. Not pretty enough. Not "whatever" enough. God reminds me of who I am and of who He wants me to be and I feel comforted. He reminds me of all the blessings of my life and I am encouraged. He has placed amazing amazing friends who have been praying for my heart. I'm so grateful for them. My heart is healed up. It seems rather odd to get over a guy in one week, but what can I say? I've always been like that. No one is worth losing the extra tears, losing sleep, and losing one's worth. Life is short. I'm moving on. Call me heartless :-)

I'm ready for my next adventures.

rethinking life

I had a great time this weekend spending time with 2 of my best friends. I have know Amy for about 20 years and Marla for about 24 years. I value their friendship so much. Shopping and wonderful talks about life. It makes my heart so appreciative of these friendships.

This morning at College Park Church I listened to them share about different ministries and one in particular made me excited to get involve in ministry again. A video was shown about this kid's camp. They show how these kids grow in their faith as people like you and me begin to give back by volunteering.

The topic for today was Justification (to be declared righteous in the sight of God). The pastor talked about how we can't do things to get to heaven. We have to recognize that it is through Grace that Christ died on the cross for our sins in order to pay the penalty for our sins. Through Christ we are justified because Jesus bore all sins of the world on his shoulders as he died on the cross. We can't earn our way to heaven, only through Christ.

The pastor said that since we am Justified, we are free to take risks. We can live by faith with no fear only because we have security in Christ. Rom 10:14-15. I can travel to South America and trust that I will be used by God. People live like they are justifying themselves and not live by Grace. We work hard to earn acceptance through earning money, status, etc. and not recognize that it is only God's grace that allows us to have eternal life. I know that I need to tell this to myself every day. I forget this. I don't need to be perfect coming to Christ. I can come as I am.

Life can change quickly

It's been odd not having my parents here for Thanksgiving. I do miss them but I'm happy for them at the same time. My sister and I had a good time just chatting, watching movies together, and doing little projects. Life has its turns doesn't it?

In the last month, I've been unsure about the direction of career. I really want to give my job a good try before moving on. I've been unsure whether I want to continue at the hospital or not because I'm not sure it's a good fit for me. The anesthesiologists don't know how to work with the CRNAs or how to use us to our full potential. I want more for my career. I'm beginning to be open to other possibilities. Who know's where i might end up? I really thought I would stay in Lafayette for a while, but I think that's not going to be the case.

I have a hunch that the road of life for me will have many turns for awhile. Am I afraid? No. Just excited to see what is to come.

reminded

God again has reminded how blessed I am. I have a good job, family, and wonderful friends. Who can ask for anything more? :-) Thank you Beth Schlosser for encouraging me and reminding that I am loved today. I am so grateful for the many friendships in my lifetime. I have had many superficial friendships, but I truly value the deep ones. I know that these friendships will continue on forever. I appreciate the time that they have invested in my life and I hope that i have done the same in theirs.

I spent a great weekend with my parents. Next weekend is the last weekend I will be able to see them in a long time-6 months to be exact. I was reminded about my heritage. The road that my family has traveled. The road that I have traveled. I have come a long way...physically, emotionally, spiritually.

I have been reminded of who I was, who I am, and who I want to become. I am grateful. Thank you for grounding me in the Truth, God.

rough days

It's kinda been rough the last couple of days encountering rude people. I wonder if they actually mean to be rude or are they just unaware that they're being rude. Either way, how do you deal with that kind of attitude and come out a better person? I bite my tongue a lot because so many times I just want to make a rude comment back to make myself feel better and "put them in their place" so to speak. I pray for a change of heart. That I would still treat them with respect without having them walk all over me. That I would love then still despite how they treat me.

It amazes me how the words that we speak impact people around us. Words can encourage, but can be used to put others down, make ourselves feel better, or to take advantage of others. Our words reflect our attitude and our attitudes reflect what is in our heart. It's not so pretty sometimes. If we're not aware the need to change what's in our heart, our attitude won't change, then the words that we speak won't change.

I usually try to see the best in people. There are days that it's difficult to see the best in people.

our significance

It's so interesting to observe people. I was traveling this weekend and I love watching people. As much as I talk, I have extra antennas and eyes poking around:-) It's amazing to see how many of us rely on other things for our security and significance. Our job, our "class A" status at the airport, our relationships with people, our money, our children, our parents, and many other things. When I was checking in at the Indy airport, one man cut in line to check in at one of the kiosks. One of the ladies standing in line said..."sir there's a line". He replied "I'm an "A" class" referring to his status as an "important traveler". Even though there was not a specific line for the "A" class, he still cut in line to check in before others. Interesting.

We lose sight of what is significant. We rely on other things for our importance, not who we are in Christ. We forget who we are in Christ. That we are His Children. That we are sons and daughters of the King. That we worship the God that created not only us, but the Universe. How amazing is that? That we worship the God of the Universe? That in itself should define who we are and how we view ourselves, but we let other things define us. We let other things impact our outlook on life, our outlook on ourselves.

I noticed it in myself as well. I let other things impact my outlook on life and myself. I get insecure when I don't know where I stand with people. Do they still like me? Did I do something to make them mad? Why did they say that? When I get insecure, I get anxious. My mind is not calm. I think that "maybe I'm not smart enough, pretty enough, tall enough, quiet enough, loud enough, etc". "they must have reacted that way because...etc. " It makes me dissatified in life and in myself when I think this way. I seek approval from people and forget that I need to seek approval from God. It's a vicious cycle that unless we are aware of it, we don't begin to move beyond it.

Fear

We're always afraid of something, aren't we? Even those of us who have no reason for fear because of our Faith in Jesus Christ.

Fear of becoming old
Fear of becoming sick
Fear of our parents dying
Fear of not raising children "right"-wanting them to succeed in life, but fearing they may not.
Fear of not having enough money
Fear of losing your job
Fear of not being accepted
Fear of not being loved
Fear of rejection from people
Fear of being vulnerable to others 'cause they may take advantage of us
Fear of failure despite our best efforts
Fear of the unknown...


If we believe in Christ, there should be no fear in us, only security. Life would be more seen as an adventure because of our security in Christ. Whom shall we fear? When we die and we believe in Jesus Christ, we are to go to heaven.

EVERYONE has fear, not everyone is willing to admit to what their fears are.

Adventure of hope in God

Following God is not as simple, passive, or as easy as people think. It's a journey that's filled with all of life's troubles that is undergirded by faith. Our reactions and outlook during our journey speaks volumes of our Faith. We have hope in Jesus Christ, God's son. Sometimes we as Christians are afraid to make decisions because we are sometimes afraid we will be "out of God's will". Sometimes I think it paralyzes us to be a passive follower. Yes, I agree that there is a sense of God's timing for things to happen, but I think we need to balance that with trusting that the next step that we take will be a step of Faith.



As we step back, we know that God calls is to love Him by worship and glorifying Him. Secondly we are called to love others. These two commands are hard enough. Throw in all of life decisions that we all have to make and your mind gets overwhelmed.



Today's sermon was great. The theme is Adventure of Hope in God. The question the pastor posed was.. If finding hope in God a passive or participatory position? He states that the difference between passive trust and participatory trust is INITIATIVE. There are risks that are involved with taking initiative, but we have to trust that God is God. Any decision that involves bringing glory to God, whether it involves church ministry or otherwise, may require initiative from our part. God may require us to take a leap of Faith. A bold trust in the God that created the universe.



I guess that's why it's called an adventure. Because it involves risks. It wouldn't be called one otherwise. The question that I will continue to ask myself is...Will my adventure of hope in God be a passive or participatory one?

Maturity

Physical maturity, social maturity, emotional maturity, and spiritual maturity. All different yet all related. Growth in one doesn't necessarily mean growth in another. We all understand physical maturity. All have experienced or will experience physical, but not all will come to social, emotional, or spiritual maturity. This impacts how we interact with other people and our interaction with the world impacts our maturity. Social maturity-know how to interact with others around us with respect and being aware of how our actions and words impact others. Emotional maturity-knowing that sometimes you can't control how others react, knowing that people make mistakes, knowing when to throw your pride away and forgive, spiritual maturity-learning from Jesus Christ and following God's word. All interconnect.



The past few weeks has been interesting as I observe and interact with people around me. I'm trying to be more aware of my thoughts and actions as I interact with people around me as well. I've been observing how they deal with conflict, how they treat other people around them, and how what they about others around them. I found that I have alot of growing I need to do :-(

What I observed the past few weeks...

People being rude, people working on their own agendas, people who are self absorbed, people seeking unhealthy things to make them happy because they are unhappy in their current situation, people have tunnel vision and unable to see another perspective or the big picture, etc. I observed a lot of social, emotional, and spiritual immaturity... and I'm including myself in this mix. I'm not any better. I think alot of the reactions, feelings, etc are wrapped up around pride. We hate to let someone else have the upper hand, don't we?

We think that we are better than what we actually are. I think that's why we need to regularly and honestly reevaluate ourselves. When we see truly see what we struggle with, is when we can really begin changing. We can only truly change, when we rely on Jesus Christ. Changes that we make for ourselves are always temporary and lack satisfaction.

character

My summer has been full of weekends out of town, so I haven't been too involved in any church activities yet. The women of Faith Baptist church had a women's ministry kickoff this past sunday and I went. It was hard being there and not knowing anyone. I met some great people there. Not quite sure I would remember their names, however:-)

I'm now in a wednesday night "women of character" study with about 45 women. It's not a great setting for getting to know women on a more personal level, but the topic is great. I signed up for a study/accountibility group on Tues night. I missed the first lesson since I didn't realize it started this week. They're reading the book "Idols of the Heart" by Elyse Fitzpatrick. I also signed up to meet with a mentor regularly. I am hoping that my mentor will help me with memorization of verses of the Bible. I don't know who she is, but I'm excited to meet her.

What does it mean to have character? Already the Women of Character study is challenging my thoughts about what that looks like in my life. I must say, I tend to be satisfied with the status quo. Stagnancy in a Christian walk is dangerous to fulfulling God's purpose. Life becomes mundane. We are too easily satisfied with too little. We settle. God has so much more for us, if we're willing to be open to what that means in our life. I'm excited to see what I will learn about myself in the next few months.

summer flying by...

It seems that the older we get, the faster time flies. Lot's of things have been going through my mind...like usual:-)

Life is stinkin' hard. People get sick for no reason. People die. People hurt other people emotionally and physically. There have been a couple of patients that just made my heart so sad. It's hard to realize that no matter what you do, they won't get any better. How do people get through life without faith in God?

In June, my friend Tia and I went on a spontaneous trip to Philly. Tia went a couple of days earlier and I was supposed to fly in on a Friday night. I flew with United and was not impressed by their customer service. My plane was delayed and I was going to missed my connecting flight in DC. No one made an announcement about anything. The United workers had poor interactions with people in line. My patience was trialed:-) I ended up staying in Indy overnight and flew out the next morning. After I picked up my rental car in Philly, I used my iphone to navigate me to the restaurant where I was supposed to meet Tia, Mel, and Tom. Mel still did not know I was coming to surprise her at the time:-) My GPS took me on a crazy route. I was 1.5 hours late for my "brunch" . Tia was playing with my phone and discovered that my GPS was on "walk" mode not "car" mode :-) oops. That's why it had me take small roads:-) It was nice to spend time with both of them. I missed both of them alot. We went shopping. We went to a beautiful garden. Though my time with them was short, it was worth it.

In July Annie and Emily flew to Montanna to meet me for a great trip at Glacier National Park. Definitely one of my favorite places to visit. I finally got to do the Highline Trail off of Logan pass. It's the most beautiful hike I have EVER been on. Gorgeous. The park displayed God's awesome creation. I was awed. God reminded me the He is God and I am not:-) as usual. It was a great spiritual retreat time. I'm glad I got to share it with Annie and Emily.

I turned 33 this past week and I must say, after 30, it's not as fun celebrating your birthday. I pray this year will break some amazing adventures the would allow me to grow closer to God.

state of my heart

My day started out with a ride in a 4 seater with my friend John Allen, nurse anesthetist extroadinaire. It was a wonderful ride. To look down and view God's creation. I'm always awed being up in the air and looking down. The older I get, the more I have a hard time understanding why people don't believe in God. His creation speaks out-from the cellular level to the amazing greatness of the mountains.

My mind and my heart battled through some tough things the last month. God is reminding me that He is God and I am not-like so many times before. I choose to trust, despite what I feel sometimes. Faith built on truth, not based on our emotional state. I need a constant reminder of this.

I love the music group "Starfield". The words of the song is spoken from the contrite heart. One of my favorites....


Unashamed

I have not much to offer You
Not near what You deserve
But still I come because Your Cross has placed in me my worth
O Christ my King of sympathy, whose wounds secure my peace
Your grace extends to call me friend
Your mercy sets me free

And I know I"m weak
I know I'm unworthy to call upon Your name
But because of grace, because of Your mercy
I stand here unashamed

I can't explain this kind of love
I'm humbled and amaze
That you come down from Heaven's heights and greet me face to face

Here I am at Your feet
In my brokeness complete


In my weakness, I find strength in God.

My Papa

What can I say about my dad? He's been through a lot for his family. He wanted a better life for his daughters so he started planning to escape Laos in the early 1980's. He saved up money for a year before we left Laos. He took his family through the refugee camp. And finally to the U. S.

He's determined, smart, stubborn, hard worker, and committed to his family.

He doesn't know all the "social norms", chews with his mouth open, and wears his socks up to his knees. He only likes to eat at buffets, and his daughter is the opposite:-) I used to be embarrassed by him when I was younger, but I have learned that what other people think , it doesn't matter.

He is most happy when both of his daughters are visiting him. He doesn't need extravagant gifts. Just simple gestures.

He definitely is not perfect. We have had our moments:-) But I love him and admire him. Happy Father's Day, my Papa.

reflecting

I enjoy having my life back. It's been so lovely to go home after working at the hospital to just relax. To have time for exercise. To have time to read. To have time to reflect on things on my mind. I don't regret going back to school for my Master's degree one moment, but I'm glad it's done. To have no more projects, presentations, exams has been so refreshing.

I talked to my friend Annie last night until midnight. I had coffee earlier that day, so I was unable to sleep. She and I realize that we are not young anymore:-) We have wrinkles around our eyes. A few greys in our hair. So we discussed life. How much did we discuss in the 2 hours? Much, but obviously there is much more.

The older we get, the more we know ourselves (or should know ourselves). Our past impacts our present and our present will impact our future. How they impact us is a question we have to answer for ourselves. Our bad experiences in life can make us stronger or they can criple us emotionally. Of course there are variations in between the two. The past affect the decisions we make today.

So I began to think about my past. I know I have said that I will put a book together about my past, but I only have a few pages written. There will be a book about my family and our journey to the U.S. :-)

Someone had challenged me about my view/attitude about relationships the other day. So I began to reflect back on my relationship with my friends, the guys I dated, and my family.

I found that I have no problems being vulnerable to my friends. I bare my heart on my sleeve. When it comes to my interaction with guys, I have a thick fence. How did this come about, you ask? The fact that I have been hurt before has caused me to be a lot more cautious. I find that I would try to find out as much as I can before I step inside the "dating line". I think I do this for self preservation/protection. In my head it makes so much sense to do this, because then I would not get hurt, right? Check out the water before I step in? I wonder if it is preventing me from actually enjoying getting to know the guy. I'm still thinking about this. I realize that this is also a trust issue. In order to get to know someone, you have to become vulnerable and have to put a little trust in them. I'm realizing that I have a hard time being vulnerable to a guy. Maybe if there are actually good guys out there, it would be easier to be vulnerable? :-)

But am I still harboring the hurt of past relationships? This was another question I had been thinking about. As I talk to my close friends and thought through it myself, my answer would be "No". I get over guys pretty quickly. So quickly that sometimes my friends wonder if it was healthy:-) My thoughts are....why would I waste my time moping over some guy who is "not all that". I don't think the fence that I have around me is due to the harboring of hurt feelings, but to the protection of my heart. I also realized this week that I have never given my heart away. I have had some huge crushes, but I have managed to keep my heart to myself. I'm sure there were attempts of giving my heart away and the occasional bruising has caused me to take my heart back.

I also realized that I don't give guys a second chance (not that any of them has come back asking:-), but when I make a decision to be done with a guy in my head, I'm done. No looking back. I don't revisit past relationships. I move on. Now in a marriage setting, commitment is involved so it's a different situation. Hmmm... still thinking this through.

My past impacts my decisions for my present, which then will impact my future decisions. Thinking about my past helps me become a stronger person because it allows me to learn about myself, about others, and how I can become the woman that God has called me to be.

I'm still processing through my thoughts on relationships and I'll write more as I come up with some conclusions.

friends and family

This weekend reaffirmed my decision of moving back to Indiana. My sister came down for the weekend and we drove down to Indianapolis. Got lost in the Ghetto:-) Went shopping withmy old college friend Julie. We had such a great time. We had dinner with Amy and her baby, marla and Brian. I love spending time with them.

I spend the night at Amy's house and it was so fun hanging out her, Curtis, and baby Braden. Braden is soooo cute! I love seeing him smile and laugh. I was holding Braden Saturday morning and I felt the diaper vibrated. Hmmm. Felt rather "wet". His diaper overflowed with poop. I've never been pooped on by a baby before! I couldn't believe it. Amy and I laughed so hard.

I'm excited to be closer to my family and friends. To be part of their lives. I'm still sad when I think about my friends back in Rochester, IN. They have played a huge part in my life. I wished they were here with me. I am so blessed to love and be loved by so many wonderful people.

God has provided me with a church I really like. I'm excited to become more involved and continue to grow spiritually. I am blessed and i'm so thankful for what God's given me.

coping

The older I get the more I'm surprised about people's inability to cope with stress and change(myself included) We avoid conflict because it makes us uncomfortable. When things don't go our way, we grumble and blame others. Our attitude hinges upon our outlook upon our situation.

This past week in the operating room, we had to switch staff and rooms around quite a bit. There was a lot of grumbling that day. Instead of having the attitude of positivity despite the craziness, people choose to be pessimists because nothing went according to the plan from this morning. I appreciated working with one of the surgical techs. What she said reflected what I was thinking that day..."I just go with the flow, Sou. So we needed to change rooms? We change"

Sometimes I think we make a big deal of small things. We forget the big picture. We're not patient. We are not kind. We do not extend grace to others and sometimes to ourselves.

Adjusting to life in Lafayette

It's been one month since I've moved to Lafayette. I've been working at the hospital for almost 3 weeks now. It's been challenging adjusting to new systems, new people, new equipment. The OR nurses and surgical technicians are great. I think they are already warming up to me. They are already trying to figure out a way to get me on dates with whoever they have in mind--this is coming from more than one person. Back in Rochester, I might have been annoyed that people are trying to set me up, but for some reason, I'm not at all with the staff here. The fact that they are making effort to pull me into their schemes are rather cute:-) We shall see what becomes of this.

Last Friday was a difficult day for me. I worked with an anesthesiologist who did not respect CRNA's at all. He's never worked with a nurse anesthetist and he just wants to do the cases on his own. I cried at the end of the day. I was so upset. So upset that I looked for a new job online on Saturday. I did hear that he was not getting along with many people at the hospital. So at this point, I won't say anything at all. His true colors will show. He's only been working there for about 2 weeks, but he acts like he's been there for a long time. Very hard day on Friday.

Sunday I went to a great church. I loved the teaching. Faith Baptist Church. I'm thinking that this is the church I want to continue to attend. I may try a few more churches, but Faith Baptist is my favorite. I was reminded that I need to give my worry to God and trust Him in ALL areas of my life. I was grateful for that reminder.

The nurse anesthetist who started at the same time with me is Gob. She's from Thailand and I have enjoyed getting to know her. She and I found a great Thai restaurant in West Lafayette. The owner came out to talk with us and gave us his card. (he's Thai) He said that if we needed anything, to call him. It was so kind of him. Gob also has a friend in Lafayette. Gob and her husband Bruce have known Chad for a long time. I think Gob is up to something. I thing she's trying to get me and Chad together:-) I'm sad to say, I'm not that interested. I wish I was. He seems like a great guy. Sigh. In God's time. I'm not worried at all. The right guy will come along, and I'll know.

Life in Lafayette

I moved here on Saturday, April 4th. It feels odd being back in Indiana. I miss my friends in MN. Yesterday I went to take my written exam for my license and opened my bank account. It hits me that I'm going to be here for awhile. Mom was here this week helping me unpack. It's been interesting:-) I appreciate her help in organizing my crazy apartment.

My sister was here on April 3rd when the movers delivered my things. She stayed through the weekend. Marla came up on Saturday to also help me unpacked.

I'm not looking forward to making new friends again, but I know i will have to. It's different moving when you're in your 30's from when you were in your 20's. I'm praying for a good church and some good friends to study the Bible with. We'll see what happens...

farewell party

It's been an emotional day for me today. It was the last time singing with the Christ Community Church choir today. Becky had me do a devotional this AM reflecting on a few things and I started to cry. It has difficult to think about leaving the people I had come to know and love the last 8 years.

Miriam, Charlie, Annie, and Jessi had a going away party for me today and it was fun to have people all together one more time in one location. Annie handed me a gift she said was from "everyone". I was perplexed. As I opened the box, i knew what it was. I started tearing up. It was a scrapbook. A full one. My friends created some pages to go in the scrapbook and it showed me even more how much they mean to me. I will cherish this forever. Each page was filled with memories I had made with each one of them-trips and celebrations we had together.

Today I will talk about the friends I made since I started school. They are so wonderful!

Mel: Sweet Mel. Always willing to share the notes she typed up from many different classes. Always willing to share her home, her love of vegetarian food with me:-) As much as I love meat, she has introduced me into her world of yummy goodness without meat, and I actually love it. Many memories of celebrating her birthdays, vacationing in Turks and Caicos, cooking together. We are so different, yet we have become such good friends. The one thing we do have in common (besides being in the same class) is the LOVE of shopping. When Mel and I hit the shopping areas, WATCH OUT! We mean business. I will miss her as she moves to Philadelphia.

Tia: Crazy Tia. I met Tia through Mel. Tia is Mel's roommate. She is so fun to be around. Her laughter is contagious. She has a great sense of humor. She's a lightweight when it comes to wine and I love that about her, cause I'm the same. Turks and Caicos was so fun. So many memories and stories to tell. I went on my first trip to Walt Disney in Orlando with Tia. While I was in Jacksonville, FL for a clinical rotation, I drove down to Orlando to meet Tia. We did 4 theme parks in 4 days. Whew! It was so fun. I felt like a kid again going on all the rides and watching the shows. I had such a great time. I will miss her laughter and vivacious personality.

Jodee: Fun Jodee. She has been through a lot over the last 2.5 years. Life has not always been kind to her. She started coming to church with me and it was great to see her there. I'm hoping that she continues to anchor her faith in God. That's how we became friends. We have had some deep life conversations. We started hanging out more and it was great. We've been to countless dinners together. Her taste in restaurants varied from nice/nice to japanese to vietnamese, etc. I can always count on her to come eat weird things with me. She's always flirting or wanting to flirt with somebody:-) I remember when we were in Minneapolis for a review course and we met some guys from Arkansas. Jodee has a good time:-) I am hoping she would move to some place warm so I can come and visit. I will also miss her sense of humor and laughter.

Tori-wonderful Tori. Tori and I interview together for anesthesia school. It was great seeing her on the first day of class. We sat in the front of the class and we remained there. We did not move to the back of the class. I guess it made us pay more attention to the instructors. We have had fun working together on many group projects. I admired her for balancing her school work with her family. George, her husband, Tylene-her oldest daughter, and little Marin-her youngest daughter have been amazing people. I have enjoyed getting to know all of them in the last 2.5 years. Tori has been a great friend. She and her family are so generous. Always wanting to feed me when i'm over at their house. Tori and I also tend to have the same taste in clothes. We enjoy the trendy clearanced cheap items:-) I think if you look in our wardrobe, you may find similar clothes in them. I have a feeling they will be moving back to Myrtle Beach soon and I know opportunity will rise that I may come and visit. I will miss her great attitude, generosity, and sense of humor.

Tori, Jodee, Mel and I worked on our research project together as a group. The topic was pharmacogenomics:-) We helped create a website for the anesthesia group at Mayo and the genomics group, and we just sent our manuscript in to be published. We will see if it gets accepted.

It was been a memorable 2.5 years. Many hard weeks at school, but we did it. We just have to pass boards in the next few weeks.

People are in our lives for a reason. I have been truly blessed to have their friendships. I have faith that we will continue to maintain our friendship over many more years to come. Thank you, God, for bringing them into my life.

Reflecting on graduation and moving

I can't believe that I'm done with school. The only thing next would be the national board exam. On Thursday, i got done at 2pm and spent some time saying goodbye to the people I have worked with the last 2.5 years. Thursday was the last time I will ever walk in the halls of the Mayo Clinic as a student, as a nurse. It's still doesn't seem real yet. On Friday I turned in my badge, name tag, parking tag, etc. I am officially not an employee of Mayo anymore.



My parents, sister, and 10 of my wonderful friends came to my graduation. What a great time! What a happy time. The next 3 weeks will be filled with studying and catching up with friends before i move to Lafayette. Next Sunday is my farewell party:-( I'm beginning to be a little bit sad.


I have made some wonderful friends in the last 8 years. Friends who are amazing women of God. We have grown spiritually together. We have a bond that not many people have with their friends. I am so blessed. I'm feeling sad right now reflecting on those friendships. Leaving them will be very difficult. These are the friendships that will not just dissipate because of distance, but will continue to be in spite of distance. I know that these friends will pray for me during the rough times of life, will encourage me when I an discourage, and celebrate with me during the joys of life. I'm going to write a little about each of them who have been good friends and who have been constants in my life for so many years.



Kristen Spielman-One of the first people I met in Rochester. She was dating Dan Spielman at the time and we didn't become good friends until Caleb was born prematurely. Due to my 12 shift schedule, I had days during the week off and would go over to her house (she used to live about 5-6 blocks from me) and distract her for a bit. We have had some fun trips to Rapid City to see her parents and I would help with the drive. Many fond memories of shopping and zoo trips. I was sad when she, Dan, and Caleb moved to Woodbury, MN. Even then, both of us made effort to stay in one another's lives. She has been a great friend and great listener. She would be the person I would go to for advice. She has made me laugh so many times that I would almost wet my pants. She's a great story teller. She also has some great stories from her childhood as well:-) She's a great mom, though sometimes she may not feel like she is. I see her love her boys and I see the commitment she has to discipline her boys to be men of integrity. Wonderful woman of God. I will greatly miss her.

Gudie Wolfgram-I met Gudrun about one year after I got to Rochester. She seems so prim and proper when I first met her. After I get to know, crazy things would come out of her mouth, and I would just laugh. She would be the one to say things that everyone else would be thinking but dared not say:-) My first fun trip was with her. She, Lisa Lucier, and I went to Duluth, MN and stayed at a bed and breakfast. We explored the Duluth area and got to know one another better. This was when I found out that Gudie grinded her teeth at night and Lisa talked in her sleep. I also went to Glacier National Park with Gudie and 4 other girls. Gudie, Lisa Lucier, Lisa Carter, Heather, Marita Klevgaard, and I rented a minivan and drove all the way to Montana. Six single women in a minivan. It was hilarious. So many memories. Gudie makes me laugh. I will miss her funny comments. I was also sad when Jon and Gudie moved to Woodbury after they got married. She has been a great encouragement to me during some life rough spots. She has also prayed for me over the years.

Lisa Lucier-my first friend in Rochester. I remember meeting her during my first visit to Christ Community Church. She has been a great friend and constant encouragement to me. Her faith was just solid. I can always lean on her. I just remember many times she would make dinner for her friends . She's great at entertaining her friends on the weekend. I enjoy many deep conversations about life with her. Even with 2 boys, she still manages to keep in touch with me. I'm sure she wishes she had more time, but I appreciate the time she's made for me.

Heather Dobson-What can I say about Heather? Gentle Heather. As much as we are different, we are alike in how we think about life-how we see ourselves in God's kingdom, how we perceive life. She's been a partner in many adventures-Montana, but especially camping in the North Shore area. She and I took the night shift for driving when we went to Montana. Only because we were "used to" the odd shifts at work. We laughed so hard as we drove cause we would play weird games as we were driving. So many fond memories of camping along Lake Superior. Getting lost for 5 hours on the trail:-) , locking my keys in the car, etc. Her quiet nature complements my crazy one. We both have grown so much. She has been my accountability partner and prayer partner for many years. I appreciate her friendship very much.

Jessi Andersen-I met Jessi the same time as when I met Kristen. Kristen and Jessi met in college and moved to Rochester together. She move away to be a traveler nurse a couple of years after I met her. We lost touch for a period of time, then Heather, Lisa, and I went to visit her in San Diego. We kept in better touch after that. She moved back to Rochester over a year and a half ago only to find her friend Sou is moving to Indiana:-( I appreciate Jessi because she's so honest. She has been through some rough times in her life, but her faith in God has continued to carry her through. She continues to learn about herself and shares her thoughts with others so that others can learn too. She makes me laugh cause she's so funny, though she doesn't think she is. I will miss her laugh.

Lisa Carter-She makes me laugh. It seems like all my friends make me laugh:-) Great sense of humor. We also have shared many camping trip stories. Many happy memories. She also has been through some tough life stuff like so many of us, but her faith continues to make her stronger. She's always ready to give-her time, her resources, emotional support etc. She's a giver. Sometimes to the point of draining herself. We have grown so much together. We have been in many Bible studies together. Learned a lot not just of the study, but from one another. I appreciate her encouragements and prayers.

Emily Bawden-What a strong faith she has. A rock. She is so fun to hang around. Again many good memories. Our last trip together was the trip to Madison, WI to see her parents. Both Annie and I went with her. Oh, what adventure:-) We had so much fun. She makes everyone feel at ease. I always feel so encouraged after spending time with her. Emily is woman who runs after God. She is very passionate about her work and she's great at what she does. I appreciate hearing her thoughts about life and God. I think we think alike.

Annie Hampton-Annie, my adventure friend. We've gone on a few trips together-Montana, Florida, and Jamaica. Many fun stories to tell. Annie is fun and funny. She makes me laugh. Our taste in music is similar. If we would be at a friends wedding, party, etc. she and I would be the first one out on the dance floor. We get ourselves into some funny situations. Our friendship has developed more so in the last 3-4 years. She's been a great encouragement. If I need a laugh I can always call her-especially when she talks so fast I can't understand a single thing. I will truly miss her.

My life is better because they are in my life. They love God first and that infiltrates into their relationship with me. They have been my accountability partners, prayer warriors, encouragers. I'm a better person because of these friends that I have. I am so blessed.

I am so sad to leave them. They are truly my sisters in Christ. My eyes are gathering tears right now as I am reflecting :-(

Though we will separated by distance, God will be our anchor. I hope that our friendship will continue for many years to come.

Nothing more than feelings....

Studying for the national board exam has been on my mind... a lot. All I do is study. Graduation is March 14 and I'm so excited that I can't describe how excited I am. Today other things have been on my mind and it felt so overwhelming. It's a fact of life that life will be full of things that stress us. It does impact our attitude, our outlook, and how we treat other people. The beginning of today didn't start off so well. I went to school feeling quite grumpy. I didn't feel like talking to anyone, laughing at people's jokes, etc. This is very unlike me all you all know because I'm a pretty relaxed and easy going person. Life got the best of me today and I was grumpy. All day I was repeating to myself... I choose joy. I only have 2 months left. I chose joy. I only have 2 months left. Yes it was difficult to have a positive attitude today. But God brings friends around to cheer you up and to remind you of how blessed you are to be you:-) I eventually felt that way, though it took awhile to get there.

I'm not a fan of valentine's day because my state of singleness is magnified and emphasized. What is wrong with being single and why do people feel like i have to be "fixed" like I'm a broken item? I do realize though that married people are happy in their marriage and want the same for me. I sometimes feel like a second class citizen because I'm single. Like I'm not whole unless I get married. I also think it's weird that when my friends get married, they only hang around other married people and tend to forget their single friends. Actually, people start doing this when they're dating too. Why do you do that? OK so I understand wanting to do more couples stuff because you're married and you're at the same life stage, but do you have to abandon other friends too-who just happen to be single? (sigh) Maybe someday I will understand. I do appreciate the married friends who make an effort to call me and have me over for dinner.

I really do want to get married some day, but I just haven't found the right guy yet. What is the right guy, you ask? :-) Well let me tell you. I don't know what ideas God has, but I definitely have some ideas of my own...

Most importantly, the guy has to be a believer in Jesus, son of God, who died on the cross for our sins. Without that foundation, the relationship is not worth pursuing. Otherwise, I see myself with a very easy going person, who is active, has a sense of humour. I'm really not into guys who think that they're funny. They sometimes may be funny, but generally they just try too hard to be funny. So they end up not being funny. I tend to like guys who are socially aware. I'm not quite sure how to describe this quality. Social awareness can mean awareness of social issues, but that's not what I'm talking about. Usually people who are socially unaware are oblivious to how their actions/words affect other people. I'm not sure if that is the best definition, but that's all i can come up with. I can come up with examples, but i won't bore you. That's a short list, huh? I feel like I'm putting an ad in the paper:-)

Feelings...I don't think I've ever been in love. I've been infatuated with a person, but not ever in love. Maybe someday, but again maybe not ever.

Jamaica

I went to Jamaica with my friend Annie. We both needed to get away. I love traveling with Annie. She's easy going, not picky about anything at all. Little things don't make her uptight.

The warmth from the beautiful island was absolutely heavenly when we landed! We both immediately got into our bathing suits and went to the beach. Most of the time, I laid on the beach. Annie was the active one. We both snorkeled a few times. There was a trapeze set up we tried. Annie tried windsurfing. The windsurfing instructor has a huge crush on Annie:-) We went to Dunns River Falls and climb up the water fall with millions of other people.

At first I didn't notice the security guards on the property of the resort. There was a guard that warned us to not go past the fence on the property. We wanted to walk further on the beach but was unable to be cause we were cautioned to not go. I had wondered why and found out later that there were people selling all kinds of street drugs. Interesting. We didn't stray too far from the resort, though Annie was itching to go exploring.

The trapeze was interesting. There was a trainer that talk you through each motion/move on the trapeze, but somehow I just couldn't figure out which way my legs were suppose to go.

Hiking up the Dunns River falls was interesting as well. I won't elaborate on details, but it is beneficial to wear a secure bathing suit aka a one piece suit. Many people wore their bathing suit walking up the waterfall, but there were definitely moments where one can lose a bikini top or bottom.

I had a great time, but the one thing that made me a little sad was the difference between income levels. As we rode the bus to and from the airport. There were little shacks among the huge houses. My heart was a bit sad. The shack looked like there were only at most 8x8 feet area. Hmmm...

I love my time on the beach-time to reflect, contemplate life, and prioritize what is important in my life. I thank God for the opportunities that I have had.