It's too difficult

This week impresses upon me more that I can't live without encouragement and accountibility from my Christian family. I missed church 3 weeks in row due to traveling. My time in reading the Bible was limited due to all my traveling and school. I was reading a few verses this last weekend and the words meant nothing. Nothing.

I went to a board review for anesthesia this last weekend. I was mentally drained by Sunday night. We drove up 5Am on Friday to get to our class at 7AM. We did get out by 6pm Friday and Sat., so we had some down time. Sunday we got out early. Very tiring. We celebrated Mel's Birthday on Sat. night. We had a great time. Some guys from Arkansas came with us as well. That night, I wondered if I can throw what I believe aside and date someone who did not believe the same things as I do. Jason (cute Arkansas boy, southern drawl) rode with my friend Duncan and me. We had so much fun. Jason snowboards:-) Really nice. Really CUTE-did I mention that already? :-) Had his arm out for me to hold on to as we walked to and from the car. He made me laugh. Really in the end... he was not a Christian. I came to my senses and backed off. How easy would it be to date this guy. In my head I was thinking....God it's too hard living for you, I just want to live for myself for awhile.

It's not just Jason that made me think this way. There were other things going through my head that I had been thinking about. Thinking it would just be so much easier to just give in and live just like everyone else. I was running low on fuel. My cup was empty. Looking back I was not taking the time to fill it up in spending time in reading my Bible. Also I think I care too much about people. Is that even possible? caring too much? If my effort in their lives don't make a difference, why bother? I get sad seeing people I love making decisions that are not good for them.

In the end, I get into a tizzy and wanting everything to stop because living for Jesus is not easy. Why not live like everyone else?

Today, God gently reminds me about who I am. Where He has brought me from and where He was taking me. I know my accountibility crew has been praying for me. Thank you Em, Lis, and Annie for being in my life. For encouraging me.