This week impresses upon me more that I can't live without encouragement and accountibility from my Christian family. I missed church 3 weeks in row due to traveling. My time in reading the Bible was limited due to all my traveling and school. I was reading a few verses this last weekend and the words meant nothing. Nothing.
I went to a board review for anesthesia this last weekend. I was mentally drained by Sunday night. We drove up 5Am on Friday to get to our class at 7AM. We did get out by 6pm Friday and Sat., so we had some down time. Sunday we got out early. Very tiring. We celebrated Mel's Birthday on Sat. night. We had a great time. Some guys from Arkansas came with us as well. That night, I wondered if I can throw what I believe aside and date someone who did not believe the same things as I do. Jason (cute Arkansas boy, southern drawl) rode with my friend Duncan and me. We had so much fun. Jason snowboards:-) Really nice. Really CUTE-did I mention that already? :-) Had his arm out for me to hold on to as we walked to and from the car. He made me laugh. Really in the end... he was not a Christian. I came to my senses and backed off. How easy would it be to date this guy. In my head I was thinking....God it's too hard living for you, I just want to live for myself for awhile.
It's not just Jason that made me think this way. There were other things going through my head that I had been thinking about. Thinking it would just be so much easier to just give in and live just like everyone else. I was running low on fuel. My cup was empty. Looking back I was not taking the time to fill it up in spending time in reading my Bible. Also I think I care too much about people. Is that even possible? caring too much? If my effort in their lives don't make a difference, why bother? I get sad seeing people I love making decisions that are not good for them.
In the end, I get into a tizzy and wanting everything to stop because living for Jesus is not easy. Why not live like everyone else?
Today, God gently reminds me about who I am. Where He has brought me from and where He was taking me. I know my accountibility crew has been praying for me. Thank you Em, Lis, and Annie for being in my life. For encouraging me.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
missed opportunity
How can someone trust Jesus if they don't believe? How will they believe if they haven't heard? How can they hear unless someone preaches? How can someone preach unless they are sent? Romans 10:14-21
On my flight back from Bozeman, MT, I sat beside a man traveling to Rochester from Colorado. He was friendly and he talked about his job, his family, etc. There were many opportunities for me to share my faith, but i didn't. My heart is sad thinking about it. People are not as receptive today to hear about Jesus, but he seemed to be open. I missed the opportunity:-(
Many people see Christians as hypocrites. Some people see Christians not any different than those who are not Christians. How can we begin to share Truth with them if we ourselves don't live it? Why would they want to know Jesus if our lives don't look any different? In our outlook, our attitudes, our interactions with people, our integrity and character?
We want to build our character and integrity by living the easy life-the perfect job, the spouse, two kids, and a dog. Maybe church attendance weekly and giving a little money here and there. We don't want the tough stuff that life brings-sickness, death, strife of any sort. We forget that that's how God makes us stronger-through those situations. It's amazing to me how God takes us through this crazy life and teaches us how to rely on Him for strength and comfort.
If I had the perfect life as the world sees it, I know that my reliance on God would not exist. Only when I deal with the tough stuff of life is when i'm reminded that God has always been with me and He loves me. God is my rock and my salvation. That in itself should cause me to live differently. When I face the harsh realities of life, how is my attitude and outlook? Is it still hoping in Christ? Anchored in Christ? Do people see Jesus in me?
Do people see Jesus in you-those who are believers? If our lives don't look any different from people who don't know Jesus, why in the world would they want to know Him? I realize that the Holy Spirit changes the heart, but we still need to be vessels for Jesus. To be used in reaching the lives of those who don't know Him.
The one question I have for myself is.... Am I being obedient in my living in faith in the God of the Universe?
On my flight back from Bozeman, MT, I sat beside a man traveling to Rochester from Colorado. He was friendly and he talked about his job, his family, etc. There were many opportunities for me to share my faith, but i didn't. My heart is sad thinking about it. People are not as receptive today to hear about Jesus, but he seemed to be open. I missed the opportunity:-(
Many people see Christians as hypocrites. Some people see Christians not any different than those who are not Christians. How can we begin to share Truth with them if we ourselves don't live it? Why would they want to know Jesus if our lives don't look any different? In our outlook, our attitudes, our interactions with people, our integrity and character?
We want to build our character and integrity by living the easy life-the perfect job, the spouse, two kids, and a dog. Maybe church attendance weekly and giving a little money here and there. We don't want the tough stuff that life brings-sickness, death, strife of any sort. We forget that that's how God makes us stronger-through those situations. It's amazing to me how God takes us through this crazy life and teaches us how to rely on Him for strength and comfort.
If I had the perfect life as the world sees it, I know that my reliance on God would not exist. Only when I deal with the tough stuff of life is when i'm reminded that God has always been with me and He loves me. God is my rock and my salvation. That in itself should cause me to live differently. When I face the harsh realities of life, how is my attitude and outlook? Is it still hoping in Christ? Anchored in Christ? Do people see Jesus in me?
Do people see Jesus in you-those who are believers? If our lives don't look any different from people who don't know Jesus, why in the world would they want to know Him? I realize that the Holy Spirit changes the heart, but we still need to be vessels for Jesus. To be used in reaching the lives of those who don't know Him.
The one question I have for myself is.... Am I being obedient in my living in faith in the God of the Universe?
Monday, January 21, 2008
path
My trip to Montana was wonderful. I love being in the mountains. The traveling time gave me some time to think.
It seems that some people live in a certain path of life....some will live an "easy life" when it comes to money, some will always struggle. Some will always have to deal with dysfunctional family members, others have good family dynamics. Some will always have to deal with health problems....
Today is my first day in my obstetrics rotation. There was a a 25 week old baby that was delivered. It's going to be a uphill battle for this baby-not fully developed yet. Having a tube in his trachea to help him breath until he grows more. Health complications will add up. That's going to be his life for a long time.
What's my life path? Having a good job when i'm done with school. Having family and friends who love me. Ability to use my skills to help others. I am really blessed in that way. Yet I'm still having to deal with things that life brings me that is really hard to deal with-emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. There are certain things I feel I myself have to deal with in this lifetime. When life hands you a lemon...make some lemonade. Sometimes I don't want to make lemonade. My heart is a bit discouraged this last week. Relying on God. Holding on to Truth. That's what I need to remind myself.
It seems that some people live in a certain path of life....some will live an "easy life" when it comes to money, some will always struggle. Some will always have to deal with dysfunctional family members, others have good family dynamics. Some will always have to deal with health problems....
Today is my first day in my obstetrics rotation. There was a a 25 week old baby that was delivered. It's going to be a uphill battle for this baby-not fully developed yet. Having a tube in his trachea to help him breath until he grows more. Health complications will add up. That's going to be his life for a long time.
What's my life path? Having a good job when i'm done with school. Having family and friends who love me. Ability to use my skills to help others. I am really blessed in that way. Yet I'm still having to deal with things that life brings me that is really hard to deal with-emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. There are certain things I feel I myself have to deal with in this lifetime. When life hands you a lemon...make some lemonade. Sometimes I don't want to make lemonade. My heart is a bit discouraged this last week. Relying on God. Holding on to Truth. That's what I need to remind myself.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Trips
I love traveling! Last weekend I went to see my old mentor from college-Dawn. She's not really old-she's 36. I had not seen her in years and I'm always encouraged when I'm with her. She poured her life into mine when I was at Purdue. She guided me in my faith journey. Continuously reminded me of who I am in Christ-my identity. She was the one that helped me truly see that I cannot live for Christ only half heartedly. It's all or nothing. God really used her in my life.
This coming weekend a few of my friends and I are traveling to Bozemen to snowboard. I'm very excited. They're flying up on Wed. and i'm flying out on Thurs. night. I love the mountains! It reminds me of what an amazing Creator we serve.
This coming weekend a few of my friends and I are traveling to Bozemen to snowboard. I'm very excited. They're flying up on Wed. and i'm flying out on Thurs. night. I love the mountains! It reminds me of what an amazing Creator we serve.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
discipleship
Yesterday I went snowboarding. I had the most fun ever! I rode my board a little more aggressively. My first ride was a little timid because I was afraid of falling. After that though, I was determined. I fell quite a few times and they were pretty hard spills. I'm feeling the effects of my tumbling today. Ow. No regrets here, though :-)
Despite the rough tumblings of life, I want to live with no regrets. To ride the board of life to the fullest. Full of joy.
In Sunday school today, we're talking about living in Christ in today's world. What it looks like now in our lives and what it should look like. The refining process of growing in Christ-much easier said than done. Discipleship-we take an active part in it-we forget this. We think that after we accept Christ into our life, we can ride on the carpet of Grace. We settle for the monotony of life. Going to work during the week and playing on the weekends. Where does God come in? No desire for growth. Why? Why do we always want to fulfill worldly desires, yet not want to fulfill God's desire for our lives? Seeking approval from others, envious of what others have, greed, participating in things not glorifying to God, etc. Do we actually think God is OK our actions, our thoughts because we profess our belief in Jesus? When Jesus came to this world, He not only demands that we profess our belief in Him, but also demands OBEDIENCE. Only then do we show our reverence and love for the God who created the universe.
Living for Jesus. What does it look like for me? I'll continue to write my thoughts as I continue to read Dietrich Bonhoeffer and do the 13 week series on Renovation of the Heart.
Despite the rough tumblings of life, I want to live with no regrets. To ride the board of life to the fullest. Full of joy.
In Sunday school today, we're talking about living in Christ in today's world. What it looks like now in our lives and what it should look like. The refining process of growing in Christ-much easier said than done. Discipleship-we take an active part in it-we forget this. We think that after we accept Christ into our life, we can ride on the carpet of Grace. We settle for the monotony of life. Going to work during the week and playing on the weekends. Where does God come in? No desire for growth. Why? Why do we always want to fulfill worldly desires, yet not want to fulfill God's desire for our lives? Seeking approval from others, envious of what others have, greed, participating in things not glorifying to God, etc. Do we actually think God is OK our actions, our thoughts because we profess our belief in Jesus? When Jesus came to this world, He not only demands that we profess our belief in Him, but also demands OBEDIENCE. Only then do we show our reverence and love for the God who created the universe.
Living for Jesus. What does it look like for me? I'll continue to write my thoughts as I continue to read Dietrich Bonhoeffer and do the 13 week series on Renovation of the Heart.
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