COSTA RICA

I went to costa rica for a medical conference and had a good time. The medical spanish conference was actually helpful. Tori, George and Jodee meet me and Dean there. While we were down there, we met some great new friends, Jason and Rachel. Yuri. And Pete from NYC.

Two days after we got back, i got sick as a dog.... ended up being strep and then tonsillitis with a nasty abscess. Ick. Been on antibiotics and it's much better. I don't think I'd ever been that sick before.

I'm learning more about myself and how I react and interact with people. I'm learning more about how people communicate. The older you get, you'd think it would get easier communicating, but it doesn't. Real communication requires vulnerability and people aren't always willing to be vulnerable in front of you.

Summer flying by

It's now August and I'm 34. I think after 30, the birthdays are not big deals anymore. Life you'd think would get simpler, but it actually becomes more complicated.

My job is OK, but not quite what I expected. I'm on call more than I like. I work more than I like. In the last 2 weeks I put in 96 hours. If it continues, i'm not sure how long I'll stay at this hospital. My life is not about my work. My life is more than that.

Friends have been coming to visit, which is so great. It seems that in the past, I've been the one doing all the traveling. I find that I make a lot of effort to maintain my friendships, but I'm finding that I'm tired of making the effort all the time. Friendship is a 2 way street. This weekend another friend came to visit. It's been lovely having her here. I appreciate her honesty and sense of humor.

Relationships with guys should be simple but it's not. I'm finding that friends and family have certain expectations about what type of guy I should be with. He should be this amazing nice guy that goes to church every week. His knowledge of the Bible should be extensive. He should know how to pray. He would love to volunteer. Etc. And I think I have those same expectations. Well what if the person I meet is not that person? He may be a Christian, but he may not go to church. He may be open to talking about God, but his knowledge of the Bible may be limited. Maybe he doesn't even know how to pray. What if he's a new Christian and knows nothing about what it means to be one? The fact that I've been a Christian for so long may not mean that I end up dating someone who is the same. I'm still processing through some stuff.

I've been going to this church in Kenosha that I really like. I'm hoping that in the fall, I'll get involve a bit more. Over all, I know my life is blessed. Good job, family, and friends. There are definitely bumps in the road, but how I handle it shows who I have trust in (God or myself). And through it I build my character.

visit with good friends

Two weeks ago, my friend Emily Bawden came to visit. It was so good to spend time with her. We went to the farmer's market. Celebrated her birthday at a japanese restaurant. It was just good to see an old friend again. I appreciate her friendship very much. It never really mattered what we do, we always laugh alot and have so much fun.

Last weekend, i was in NYC. Mel and Tori met me there. I thought I wouldn't like NYC. I was wrong! A lot of it has to do with the company i kept:-) Hanging out with 2 good friends from school-priceless. Went shopping, ate at nice restaurnts, etc.

I'm finding that I tend to keep a nice handful of good friends from all over the country. I can call them about anything and they would listen.

2 months

It's been 2 months since I've been here, and it's been interesting. I'm liking my job more, maybe because I'm getting used to the routine. Most people are nice but there will always be a handful of people that are mean and rude. I LOVE my job.

Today I met my friend Wendi, CRNA colleague and her hubby at this 7 mile flea market that has a farmer's market portion as well. I was not impressed with the farmers market :-) Oh, well it was fun trying. Otherwise, I've been a bum today, cause i'm on first call today and tomorrow. Haven't been called in yet, but just you wait... Wendy and Howard and others are meeting at this restaurant/bar tonight. There's a mechanical bull and live band. I'm hoping to go, but the hospital may be paging me....

Marla will be having her baby in less than 2 weeks and i'm excited to be an auntie. Can't wait to meet her. My weekends are filling up this summer so i hope i can go visit. I'm taking week off in July to take my parents on vacation to door county. Mom and dad are coming July 4th weekend. I'm flying to Myrtle Beach one of the weekends. Heather and little Adeline want to come visit too! Maybe August will be better :-)

What else am I thinking about? I'm wanting to look into different organizations I can volunteer for in this area. I want to give back. I don't want my life to be just about me. I'm praying for a great guy to come into my life. Someone who loves God and is committed to his faith. I wonder sometimes if I will ever fall in love? I meet these guys and something is missing...Am I really that picky? :-) I don't think I am....hmmm....

Life is good. Had some rough days. Had many great days. I have been truly blessed. Thank you, my God for keeping me rooted in you.

one month

It's been a month since I've been here and it seems still unreal that I live here. I'm adjusting to my new job. There's definitely things about it that I don't like, but there are things that I like. It's been interesting adjusting to working with different people. Very interesting.

I've been thinking a lot this week. Relationships take time and effort. Relationships with your family. Relationships with coworkers. Relationship with friends. We take our family for granted because we know that they'll love us no matter what we say or do. We don't make effort to be more patient with them. We get angry quickly. We take advantage of who they are. What does it matter that we make one another angry several times per week? several times per day?

Our attitude with our coworkers are the same. We only see our own view point. We look out for our own interests. Our team work mentality is always seem to be lacking. We talk about one another behind their backs. What does it matter anyway, we only work with them 8+ hours per day, right? It takes time and effort to bring people to work and think as a team. Sometimes it takes throwing our pride out the door in order to work together as a team. We are so task oriented sometimes, we don't see the whole picture.

Relationships with our friends. It takes effort from both sides in order to maintain a good friendship. There are friends that when you talk with them, it's all about them. Good healthy friendships that lasts a long time require both people to put time and effort into it. I think I'm one of those people that really invest in my friendships. I must admit though, I sometimes get tired of trying sometimes. I have friends from all walks of life, married, married with kids, single. It seems that I've always been the one that did more traveling to see them, did more calling, gave more of my time. Honestly, sometimes I get really tired of making all the effort. When there is little effort to return emails, phone calls, etc., I do get frustrated.

Relationships with family, co-workers, and friends take work. Not just on your part, but theirs.

My head is FULL! I've been just thinking direction of my life, goals, etc. I'll share more later.

getting settled in

I unpacked more boxes and trying to finish organizing my apartment. It's daunting to think that I probably moving again in one year-maybe closer to Milwaukee. Racine doesn't fit me. No nice restaurants, no nice parks, etc.

My job.... what can I say? I'm still adjusting.

I went to Racine Bible Church this past Sunday. It has a more traditional service. Mostly caucasians...decent teaching. From the comments the pastor made, it seems like a very ultra conservative church. I'll go visit a church in Oak Creek next. It's hard to find a good church to attend. I can make friends easily, but finding a sound Bible teaching church... much more difficult.

I'm praying for a good church. I'm praying for a mentor. I'm praying for a place I can help people. We'll see what God has for me.

I've been here for about 2 weeks now and it's been interesting. I got pulled to be on call after 2 days of working at the hospital. My family was here and I didn't really get to spend time with them. They understood, though.

It's definitely different from the hospital in Lafayette. I work harder here and more hours. They also pay me more here so it balances out. Already there have been changes taking place. We'll see how it goes this coming year. I may or may not stay. So far, i'm staying , but....

This past weekend I went to Annie and Dan's wedding in Rochester, MN. It was great seeing everyone again. I stayed with Emily and it was just nice to have low key evenings to sit, chat, and catch up. I do miss her. I was discussing with her just how odd it felt for me. Seeing everyone getting married and having babies. I couldn't help but feel "left out" so to speak. Someday.... I'd rather be single than marry any of the guys I've dated :-)

God is good. I'm blessed. I have a great job, a family that loves me, and great life-long friends.

Racine, WI!

My new place...
Beautiful view of Lake Michigan during my run
Annie, Em, and Lisa sent me flowers to welcome me... such wonderful friends...

I can't believe I'm here. My last week in Lafayette was sad. People brought food, gave me a plant as a going away gift, and cards. My friend Yukiko and family brought me this cute pink heart to remember them by. Lisa (who reminds my parents of me when i was little) ran along the sidewalk and waved as I drove off. I will miss Gob and her Thai cooking, Yukiko with her Japanese cooking, Ellen with her "ellen" cooking. I will miss their friendships. I will miss the OR staff.. RNs, techs, surgeons, anesthesia providers. I cried. I do get attached to people. I don't like moving. I am hoping that I'll like working here and stay put-for a long time because I don't like leaving people when I begin to care for them.

The movers had a lot to load up! Their truck was full. It makes me realize that I need to downsize. I donated some stuff to Goodwill. Threw away some stuff. Simplify.

Yes, I'm nervous about starting this new job. Will I connect with the people there? Will they like me? Such simple and silly questions that many assume that only teenagers ask. Grown ups ask them too. More than we realize. The need for acceptance is so innate. To feel like we belong to something.

God-what do you have for me in this area?

Mixed Feelings

Last Friday, the anesthetists and Dr. Choudhry and Salamie got a goodbye cake for me. It was yummy! Today the surgical nurses and techs bought in food for my goodbye party :-( They gave me this cute plant that I will call my "love plant" . I hope I don't kill it. I am going to miss them a lot. I am sad and excited this week. So sad to leave these wonderful people. So excited to see what God has for me in Racine, WI.

Your coworkers influence whether or not you like your job. That's a true statement even if you as every single person on earth. I love the people here. Unfortunately, I am leaving because of my career direction. I want to be able to do OB, vascular, and thoracic as well. Right now I don't get to. I am hoping my next job will be different.

I'm bringing fruit tomorrow for the staff and a thank you note. It'll be hard trying to express my affection for them. I will miss them greatly.

Riobamba Ecuador 2010 completed

I don't even know how to begin. Amy, Curtis, and Braden took me to the Indy Airport. I checked 2 big luggages. One was 50.5 and the other was 68 pounds. I paid $80 for the extra baggage and extra weight fee. I took a backpack and a over shoulder back for my clothes and personal items. As I waited to board my flight, I thought through my expectations of the trip and tried to throw away those ideas.

I got through customs with no problem. Thank God! I met my friend and roomie Katrina at the hotel we were staying at. She's a PA student from AZ. The next morning Paul and Nelda Johnson met me at the hotel. It was so fun catching up with them. They are just amazing people. The bus ride from Quito to Riobamba was a doozie. Paul said to me before I got on the bus..."It's a straight shot". Straight shot compared to what?!! I got motion sickness. And no, I didn't even think about putting the scopolamine patch on until later. I think it works better when you put it on before you get on the bus.

We ended up staying at a military compound. Katrina and I shared a room. It was an admiral's suite as we found out later. We were made to move to a different room later that week. We ate at the mess hall in the morning and evening. The hospital provided our lunch. All I can say about the food is...there's a lot of chicken and rice! One sometimes two times per day.

The hospital was not finished when we got there, but by the next day it was "finished". It was a new hospital built by the government but can be used by military and civilians alike. We had to use duct tape to fix lights, tried to rig up a way to get rid of waste anesthetic gas (not successful), one room had ventilation and the other not. Mind you, this was a new facility :-) We had 2 anesthesia students with us. Megan had the non-ventilated room and Kate that the ventilated room. Megan had the old machine, and Kate had the new machine-though it was in spanish. LOL. Ralph was another anesthetist that went. I learned a lot from him. We did hernia surgeries, OBGYN, pediatrics, vascular surgeries, etc.

I learned a lot about myself. I learned that sometimes I'm not as flexible as I need to be. I learned that I am drawn to people that need my help. I learned that God is God and I am not. Even though it was a Christian based organization, some people on the trip were more not as serious about their faith. I wonder if some even believed.

On our free weekend. Chris, Jon, Julio, Carlos, Giselle, Katrina, and I went to Banos, which was 3 hours away one way. Despite the scopolamine patch, I got serious motion sickly. Miserable! We had fun. We went zip lining at this sketchy zip line place and I prayed hard. Glad to be alive. Only 3 of us went-Julio, Jon, and me(of course). We had to hike down the ravine. The 2 guides used this non stable looking pulley pulling us across the ravine. We had to hike 800 feet almost straight up. I was tired. By the time we got to the top, it was too late to back out :-) It was soooo fun! loved it!

I met many neat people. Helped many people. Learned more about people. God is good.

I am grateful for friends who have donated money for the trip. All the money went to buy propofol and sevoflurane (anesthetic gas). Sevoflurane was about $230 per bottle. Let's just say we worked hard in trying to get through the 2 weeks without running out.

I am so blessed to have the life that I have. That's why I want to give back. I want life to be more than just about me. Too many people think like that. Too many.

Riobamba Ecuador

Even though my mission trip is one month away, there are so many things that needs to happen before I leave. I still don't have enough supplies. Some medical reps are donating some, but if I don't have enough by next week, I will have to order them on my own.

I decided that it will be cheaper and easier to buy medication when i get to Ecuador. The companies have not been donating as much to the non-profits at all. When I would look at the drug companies' website, they all direct communication to these non-profit organizations and they don't have any induction medications or paralytics, etc. to give me. I also have limited space and weight restrictions on my checked bags, so in the end, I will have to buy medication in Ecuador. I will be sending out a support letter to some close friends to ask for a bit of help, though most of cost I will be responsible for. I have ordered many anesthesia supplies online already and have gotten some donated items from the hospital and surgery center. I recently discovered that the customs people in Quito, Ecuador don't like expired medications/items so I have to take expired items that have been donated back to the hospital to be properly discarded.

I found myself getting a bit anxious today, but in the end God reassured me that everything will be just fine :-) I am praying for a calm mind, for organization, and for the details to come together so that I can serve my God well. For it is Him that I am doing this for.