Studying for the national board exam has been on my mind... a lot. All I do is study. Graduation is March 14 and I'm so excited that I can't describe how excited I am. Today other things have been on my mind and it felt so overwhelming. It's a fact of life that life will be full of things that stress us. It does impact our attitude, our outlook, and how we treat other people. The beginning of today didn't start off so well. I went to school feeling quite grumpy. I didn't feel like talking to anyone, laughing at people's jokes, etc. This is very unlike me all you all know because I'm a pretty relaxed and easy going person. Life got the best of me today and I was grumpy. All day I was repeating to myself... I choose joy. I only have 2 months left. I chose joy. I only have 2 months left. Yes it was difficult to have a positive attitude today. But God brings friends around to cheer you up and to remind you of how blessed you are to be you:-) I eventually felt that way, though it took awhile to get there.
I'm not a fan of valentine's day because my state of singleness is magnified and emphasized. What is wrong with being single and why do people feel like i have to be "fixed" like I'm a broken item? I do realize though that married people are happy in their marriage and want the same for me. I sometimes feel like a second class citizen because I'm single. Like I'm not whole unless I get married. I also think it's weird that when my friends get married, they only hang around other married people and tend to forget their single friends. Actually, people start doing this when they're dating too. Why do you do that? OK so I understand wanting to do more couples stuff because you're married and you're at the same life stage, but do you have to abandon other friends too-who just happen to be single? (sigh) Maybe someday I will understand. I do appreciate the married friends who make an effort to call me and have me over for dinner.
I really do want to get married some day, but I just haven't found the right guy yet. What is the right guy, you ask? :-) Well let me tell you. I don't know what ideas God has, but I definitely have some ideas of my own...
Most importantly, the guy has to be a believer in Jesus, son of God, who died on the cross for our sins. Without that foundation, the relationship is not worth pursuing. Otherwise, I see myself with a very easy going person, who is active, has a sense of humour. I'm really not into guys who think that they're funny. They sometimes may be funny, but generally they just try too hard to be funny. So they end up not being funny. I tend to like guys who are socially aware. I'm not quite sure how to describe this quality. Social awareness can mean awareness of social issues, but that's not what I'm talking about. Usually people who are socially unaware are oblivious to how their actions/words affect other people. I'm not sure if that is the best definition, but that's all i can come up with. I can come up with examples, but i won't bore you. That's a short list, huh? I feel like I'm putting an ad in the paper:-)
Feelings...I don't think I've ever been in love. I've been infatuated with a person, but not ever in love. Maybe someday, but again maybe not ever.
